Lessons I'm Learning in My 20s: Figuring It Out One Day at a Time

Your 20s are often called the "defining decade," and honestly? That sounds like a lot of pressure. But you know what? Let’s redefine that together. Right now, I’m in the thick of it—figuring things out, making mistakes, and taking some big risks. Do I have all the answers? Absolutely not. But here are a few lessons I’m picking up as I stumble my way through this wild ride called life.

1. It’s Okay to Not Have Everything Figured Out

Growing up, I thought I’d have my whole life plan sorted by the time I graduated college. Spoiler alert: I definitely don’t. And honestly? That’s okay. I’m still figuring out my niche in life—the things I love, the things I can’t stand, and where I want to go next. Sometimes, I’m over here wondering, “Am I moving too fast? Too slow? What’s my next step?”

Some days, I feel like I’m crushing it, and other days, I’m just trying to keep it together. But what I’ve realized is this: nobody has it all figured out, no matter how put-together they seem—no matter their age. Life isn’t about having every detail mapped out. It’s about trying new things, evolving, and living for yourself. So, if you’re feeling a little lost, trust me, you’re not alone. Just take it one step at a time and do what feels right for you. You’ve got this!

2. Quality in Friendships

In high school and college, I spent way too much time chasing the approval of “friends” who, honestly, didn’t feel like friends at all. That was a tough pill to swallow. If you are constantly feeling left out, and when you speak up, nothing changes—that’s your sign. Real friends will care about how you feel, and they’ll show it.

Now, I’ve learned to surround myself with people who genuinely want me around—those who celebrate my wins, support me through my struggles, and let me be my unapologetic self. Life is way too short to settle for friendships where you have to walk on eggshells or feel like you’re constantly proving your worth.

Here’s the truth: not everyone you meet is going to like you, just like you’re not going to like everyone you meet. And that’s totally okay. The goal isn’t to be everybody’s best friend—it’s to have a small circle of people who truly have your back. Those are the people that matter. Quality over quantity, every time.

3. Money Matters

Money matters in your early twenties, the habits you build now can shape your financial future. It’s not just about making enough to cover rent or splurging on nights out—it’s about learning how to save, invest, and budget so you’re not constantly playing catch-up later.

The earlier you start building good money habits, the more time you give your savings and investments to grow. Compound interest is real, and retirement might seem light-years away, but setting even small amounts aside now can make a huge difference. Plus, learning to manage your money early gives you freedom—the freedom to take risks, travel, or say “yes” to opportunities without stressing about debt or living paycheck to paycheck.

It’s not about being perfect with your finances but understanding that small, consistent actions now can lead to financial security and peace of mind down the road.

4. Rest Is Just as Important as Hustle

I’ll admit it—I totally bought into the whole “hustle culture” when I was younger. But honestly? Burning myself out just isn’t the vibe. Lately, I’ve been learning the importance of prioritizing rest, whether that means sleeping in, binge-watching my favorite show, or just taking a much-needed break from my never-ending to-do list.

Rest isn’t lazy—it’s essential. It helps me recharge so I can actually show up as my best self in everything I do. These days, I aim for a solid 8 hours of sleep (because sleep is magical), and I make sure to wind down before bed—no scrolling until 2 AM. Trust me, a good night’s sleep is different.

5. It’s Okay to Fail

I’m starting to see failure in a whole new light—it’s not the end of the world; it’s just part of the process. Trust me, the number of times I’ve failed so far is unreal. But here’s the thing: if you’re not failing, you’re probably not trying, and if you’re not trying, you’re staying stuck. What you’re not changing, you’re choosing—and that’s a hard truth to face.

Every time something doesn’t work out, I’m learning something that will set me up for the future. Especially in your 20s, this is the time to take those reasonable risks. Don’t put them off! You’re only getting older, and the margin for risk-taking gets smaller as life starts throwing more responsibilities your way. So go for it—mess up, learn, and grow. That's how you build the life you want. Remember, everyone has a different timeline on their success.

6. Taking Care of Myself Is Non-Negotiable

I used to think being healthy was all about working out just to look good, but my perspective has totally shifted. Now, I see taking care of myself—whether it’s eating better, staying active, or managing stress—as an act of self-respect. It’s not just about feeling good now; it’s about setting my future self up for success. I mean, I want to be that cool, mobile 80-year-old who’s still living their best life!

These days, I’m focusing on building habits my future self will thank me for. That means eating clean (most of the time—balance is key), making exercise a regular part of my life, and taking my skincare routine seriously. Aging gracefully isn’t just about how you look—it’s about how you feel. So, whether it’s doing yoga, loading up on veggies, or slathering on SPF like my life depends on it, I’m all in. Future me deserves it!

Gratitude makes everything better, taking a step back to appreciate what I have has helped me so much. Whether it’s something big, like my health, or something small, like a good cup of coffee, practicing gratitude helps me keep things in perspective.

7. Boundaries Are Hard, but Necessary

Saying "no" never came easily to me. I used to be the person who would stay quiet, even when I wasn’t the only one at fault, just to avoid conflict. I’d say "okay" or agree with whatever was being said, simply to end the conversation, even if it left me feeling frustrated or unheard. But one day, something shifted. I found myself in a situation where I wasn’t entirely to blame, but I was being held responsible. Instead of staying quiet like I usually would, I decided to speak up for myself and set a boundary. It felt strange at first, but in that moment, I realized I had every right to stand my ground.

What surprised me most was how the conversation shifted. By speaking up, it opened the door for a more honest, open exchange, where we were both able to address the uncomfortable parts of the situation. We didn’t just brush things under the rug—we got real about our feelings. It made me realize that setting healthy boundaries isn’t just about protecting my time or energy; it’s about self-respect and showing others how to treat me. And what I’ve found is that it actually strengthens relationships, allowing for deeper, more honest connections.

Now, when I need to set boundaries—whether it's at work, with friends, or even with family—I feel more confident. It’s not about being selfish, but about recognizing that I can only show up as my best self when I take care of my own needs too. Setting boundaries has opened up space for better communication, allowing me to share how I’m really feeling about a situation or an action, and helping others understand where I’m coming from. It’s been such a game-changer in making my relationships healthier and more balanced.

Final Thoughts

Being in your 20s is a mix of messy, exciting, and sometimes a little terrifying moments all rolled into one. I don’t have it all figured out yet, and honestly, I’m okay with that. Right now, I’m focused on the lessons I’m learning, the connections I’m making, and discovering more about myself each day. I’m taking it one step at a time, chasing my aspirations, and trying to enjoy the ride as much as I can. There’s so much ahead, and I can’t wait to share it all. Stay tuned—exciting things are coming!